BOOK REVIEW (July 2022)
DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF AT WORK BY RICHARD CARLSON, PH.D.
1. In reality, it’s the other way around. It’s nonsense to believe that a relaxed, happy person necessarily lacks motivation. On the contrary, happy people are almost always the ones who love what they do. It’s been shown again and again that people who love what they do are highly motivated by their own enthusiasm to continually better themselves and their performance. They are good listeners and have a sharp learning curve.
2. In addition, happy workers are highly creative, charismatic, easy to be around, and good team players.
3. Unhappy people, on the other hand, are often held back by their own misery or stress, which distracts them from success. Rigid, stressed-out people are a drag to be around and difficult to work with. They are the ones who lack motivation because they are so consumed with their own problems, lack of time, and stress. Unhappy people often feel victimized by others and their working conditions. It’s difficult for them to be solution-oriented because everything is seen as someone else’s fault
4. To be controlling means you are preoccupied with the actions of others and how those actions affect you………Secondly, the trait of being controlling is highly stressful — both to the controller and to those who are being controlled. If you want a more peaceful life, it’s essential you become less controlling.
5. Deep down, a controlling person doesn’t want other people to be themselves, but rather the image of whom they want them to be.
6. Also, as you become less controlling, you’ll be much easier to be around. You can probably guess that most people don’t like to be controlled. It’s a turnoff. It creates resentment and adversarial relationships. As you let go of your need to be so controlling, people will be more inclined to help you; they will want to see you succeed. When people feel accepted for whom they are rather than judged for whom you think they should be, they will admire and respect you like never before
7. I often hear people conversing about being stuck “in the rat race” as if they were discussing the weather — in a very casual, matter-of-fact manner. The assumption seems to be, “There’s no escaping it — it’s just a fact of life for everyone.” One of the problems with this mentality is that the label “rat race” implies, among other things, assumptions like, “I’m in a hurry, get out of my way, there’s never enough time, there’s not enough to go around, it’s a dog-eat-dog world,” and so forth. It sets you up to be frightened, impatient and annoyed by constantly reinforcing and validating a self-defeating belief.
8. You’ll notice that most people who describe themselves as being “in the rat race” will indeed be hyper and easily bothered. It’s important to note, however, that there are other people with the same types of jobs, pressures, responsibilities, and schedules who experience and describe their work in a much more peaceful and interesting way. Yet, they are every bit as effective and productive as their more nervous and agitated counterparts.
9. It’s true that deadlines are a fact of life. Yet a lot of this type of stress comes not so much from the deadline itself, but from all the thinking about it, wondering whether or not we will make it, feeling sorry for ourselves, complaining and, perhaps most of all, commiserating with others.
10. Corporate bragging is sharing with others how incredibly busy you are and how very hard you work — not just in passing, but rather as a central, focal point of conversation. It’s almost as though we wear a badge of honor for being a person who is completely overwhelmed, deprived of sleep, and who has little, if any, personal life.
11. The second commitment I have made regarding meetings is to tell myself that I’m going to learn something new from each meeting. So, I listen intently to what is being said, trying to hear something I don’t already know. In other words, rather than comparing what I’m hearing to what I already believe — or agreeing or disagreeing in my mind to what is being said — I’m searching for new wisdom, a new insight, or a new way of doing something. I’ve found that when my intent is to learn, I almost always do learn. Instead of thinking to myself, “Yeah, yeah, I already know this stuff,” I try to clear my mind and allow myself to have a beginner’s mind.
To get the pdf version of this book. send me an email: paulineyoundjia@gmail.com
